133193

Joke of the Day

"How do you cut the Roman empire in half? You use a pair of Caesars"

"Do you know why Dead Baby jokes never get old? Because they die so young."

"You know what's good about pirate hookers? You can splooge in her good eye and run away without paying."

"How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You wave :)"

"If you send her a message and she doesn't reply in six months she is probably thinking about it"

"Why did Sally the Sloth sleep in all day? Because her crippling depression leaves her unable to function properly."

"I am being so rude. Apologies. Google, is there anything you want to ask me?"

"Apple is coming out with a product for Asians.. The iOpener.."

"You know what I get off on? Subway platforms."

"A Russian, visiting the USA, went for an eye check up. The Doctor shows the letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY Doctor: Can you read this ? Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy, he's my cousin."