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Joke of the Day

"I came back from holiday in India with a really heavy case of diarrhea... ...but they wouldn't let me take it through customs."

"Imagine you're about to have surgery and right before the anesthesia kicks in you notice a ""University of Phoenix"" degree on the wall"

"I'd say I avoid Facebook like the plague, but I don't do much to avoid the plague."

"In the navy, how do you separate the men from the boys? With a crowbar."

"How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape so Christians can't claim God did it."

"Confucius say man who run behind car... ...get exhausted."

"Coffee is the silent victim in our house. It gets mugged everyday"

"I want my headstone to read ""loving wife, evil dictator""."

"Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help."

"Library Asked librarian for book on suicide. Said no one returns them."