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Joke of the Day

"Imagine you're about to have surgery and right before the anesthesia kicks in you notice a ""University of Phoenix"" degree on the wall"

"What is close to stupidity? Mexico and Canada"

"Why did Napoleon's soldiers wear red buttons on their blue jackets during the battle of Waterloo? ... so that they could close their jackets."

"Somebody stole my mood ring I don't know how to feel about it."

"I got offered a job at a kaleidoscope company. I'm looking into it."

"Why did Nobelium's car got towed away? He parked at a *No* parking!"

"Shortest Joke Ever Venicine's dear isn't it. Courtesy of Jimmy Carr, great joke."

"""Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."" Me, to my empty bag of Oreos."

"Why do the Scots wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away."

"Slept like a log last night Woke up in the fireplace."