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Joke of the Day

"Fact: In a survival situation, you can drink your own urine. Fortunately, my wi-fi came back on just as I was filling the cup."

"D&D character name I'm going to make a half man half horse cleric and name it centaur for disease control"

"I'm not saying I hate you, I'm just saying that if you got hit by a bus, I would be driving that bus."

"""I love you"" can be the most beautiful words you can hear from someone you truly care about, next to ""I got this round."""

"""Your honor-"" No objections. how do you plead to cheating at heads up seven up? ""guilty"" no juice boxes for a week..piece of shit *mom sobs*"

"What do you do with an elephant with three balls? You walk him and pitch to the Rhino. - *One of the many jokes I remember from Hot Shots.*"

"Having a dirty mind is okay, but having a clean heart is much more important."

"A game developer recently released a ""rectal prolapse simulator""... ...they called it ""Fallout""."

"If we all just agree that we're fine, we'll never again have to ask each other how we are."

"I'm gonna strap a snowblower on my roof and start driving south. When someone asks me what it is, that's where I'm gonna live."