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Joke of the Day

"What said a person who got run over by a car? ""I'm tired""."

"How do you make a gay guy scream twice in one evening? Fist fuck him then wipe your hands on his drapes."

"I introduced my girlfriend to my family today. My kids really liked her but my wife seemed mad."

"A coworker just asked me if I was voted most likely to take a joke literally by my high school yearbook committee... That wasn't even a real superlative. I swear, this guy..."

"What does a cannibal do after dumping their girlfriend? They wipe, flush, and wash their hands"

"Every time I go for a Jog I get hit by the same bike It's a vicious cycle"

"I like my women like I like my reality shows... ...Naked and Afraid"

"If your opinion about global warming is based on the weather outside then you don't deserve to have an opinion about global warming"

"I'm going to buy a house near the St. Louis Airport and paint ""Welcome to chicago"" on my roof to confuse people who are about to land."

"Use 'discount' in a sentence. Teacher: Johnny, please use ""discount"" in a sentence. Johnny: Yes ma'am, ""Does discount as a sentence?"""