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Joke of the Day

"ELI5: what is it like being 6? I'm only 5 and I'm about to turn 6."

"A hummingbird is a lot like a songbird, It just doesn't know the lyrics."

"Think before you yell at your kids. They are the ones who might have to bring you toilet paper in 20 minutes"

"Is that placebo working for you? Well, now that you mention it, no."

"I'm so fresh... ...I get put in the produce section."

"Why doesn't North Korea's population exponentially grow? Because they must build additional pylons."

"I'm sick and I'm going to work today; so if there's some kind of Contagion-level outbreak, I'm your patient-zero."

"DOES HOLY WATER WORK ON OBNOXIOUS CHILDREN"

"No matter how bad things get, at least I have my fingers! I know I can always count on them."

"My wife saw an ad in a window Which said ""tampons 50cents"" Is that true, she asked the shopkeeper... Very true, he said....""no strings attached"""