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Joke of the Day

"How does the beer brewer get around with a broken ankle? He hops."

"Life is like a box of chocolates.... It doesn't last too long for fat people."

"[me, leaving a funeral] That was fantastic. Let's do this again sometime."

"What's the difference between a girlfriend and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't go apeshit and stalk me for years when I put a couple of loads in it."

"when it's april 2nd and she still pregnant"

"opinions are like birthdays.. everybody has one & I only know yours because of Facebook."

"/r/pickle welcomes it's newest ally. It's always good to have clean jokes. I due urge the mods to add us to your sidebar, due to the fact that you are on ours."

"Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails it'd be very difficult to aim."

"ME ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you ? My Wife... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!"

"What do engineers use for birth control? Personality."