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Joke of the Day
"[me, leaving a funeral] That was fantastic. Let's do this again sometime."
Next Joke
"What did our parents do to kill time before the internet? I asked my 21 brothers and sisters and they had no clue either."
"I went the school of hard knocks... My knuckles are still sore."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cecil ! Cecil who ? Cecil have music whereever she goes.... !"
"In my old age, I am like a fine wine... Fifteen percent alcohol by volume."
"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a baby who just got HIV? I didn't rape Donald Trump"
"You better watch out, you better not cry You better not pout, I'm telling you why Emotion signals weakness to your enemy Be vigilant, my son"
"Day one of acting school should be teaching actors how to hold an empty cup of coffee on 'Law and Order' like it's a full cup of coffee."
"Why doesn't Trump like Google? Bing, bing, bing... (Source: The Daily Show, by Trevor Noah)"
"remember teens: even Jesus once logged off for 3 days"