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Joke of the Day

"When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask ""who's in charge of tossing the salads here?"" Then I frown & order the soup."

"Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just... not Yeti."

"Heard about the statistician who liked to kick back with his feet in the oven and his head on a bucket of ice? On the average, he was quite comfortable."

"Today's my cake day! And I'm going to eat it too!"

"What do you call a German who cringes a lot? Vince"

"Judging people on Twitter is equivalent to an alcoholic showing up to an AA meeting and making fun of all the other drunks."

"Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke Joke Jooooooooke."

"My sinuses are under so much pressure Vanilla Ice just ripped them off."

"Why do dogs hate outer space? Because they strongly dislike vacuums."

"The Karate Kid grew up to be The Karate Man and now he's the Pizza Hut delivery guy with a ponytail who tries to talk to you about swords."