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Joke of the Day

"If an airplane from West Africa was flying during the Northern Lights, and there was a sick passenger onboard... ...would it be Aurora Ebola-alis?"

"COMMERCIAL: [a man is having his bloody infected foot amputated] Narrator: SHOES"

"People are rough on gym teachers, but let's not forget all the years they spend in college, learning how to yell a last name in a scary way."

"Why did the polish spy fail in his mission to blow up Hitlers car. He kept burning his lips on the muffler."

"Nickelback's career is dead... They are more washed up than a Syrian toddler."

"What do a walrus and tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal."

"What do you call the area where a horse lives? The NEIGHHHHHHborhood"

"There are two Jehovah's Witnesses outside... They're applauding my house for some reason."

"DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HUNTER & A STALKER What's the difference between a hunter and a stalker? ANSWER: The hunter has to wait until it's in season!"

"The first thing I always do when a cop pulls me over is remind him he can't arrest me without a warrant so he knows he's dealing with a pro."