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Joke of the Day
"What do a walrus and tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal."
Next Joke
"[Speech Therapy] Therapist: Repeat after me: I'm thirsty Dad: I'm...thirsty T: I'm hungry D: I'm...H...Hi Hungry, I'm Dad T: *throws clipboard*"
"What is the difference between a white guy and an asian? Cock. It is basic math. cockasian - asian = cock"
"*surgeon opens cooler during transplant* *cooler is full of Gatorade* ""Wait but this means..."" *cut to surgeon's kids dumping kidney on coach*"
"Interviewer: It says here on your resume you can make chicks laugh, how? Me [holding a chick in my hand & tickling it]: I'm a miracle worker"
"Why did the monster stop playing with his brother? He got tired of kicking him around."
"Friend of mine said ""What rhymes with orange"" I said ""No it doesn't"""
"my favorite game is called ""Secret Family."" I go to the movies & sit near a group of strangers & pretend they love me"
"A liberal, a conservative and a libertarian walk in to a bar. Bartender says, what'll ya have Mitt?"
"LOL there's like 20 guys w/ ""Female Body Inspector"" windbreakers that's hilarious they're seizing my hard drive & business records LMAO"