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Joke of the Day

"Diet tip: If you think you're hungry, you might just be thirsty. Have a bottle of wine first and then see how you feel."

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"""You're better than that"" is almost never true"
"I have a UPS joke Sorry it was delivered it to your landlord's off property leasing office ten miles down the road."
"I am not racist, I love black people. In fact, I love them so much that I think we should all have our own."
"Where do lightbulbs die? Offswitch."
"YO mama is so poor... She can't even pay attention"
"Doctor doctor I've got a little sty. Then you'd better buy a little pig."
"Stopped drinking coffee 3 days ago, and feel less and less addicted to caffeine with every new cup of my own pee."
"I'm going start wearing a cape instead of headphones to deter people from talking to me."
"Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sundae School"