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Joke of the Day

"Why are waiters terrible pornstars? They only want the tip"

"[job interview] You sure you know what it means to be a real estate developer? [i picture myself yelling at a building to try harder] Yes"

"I see, it's all coming back to me now... Said the blind man as he pissed into the wind."

"Why did Hitler kill himself? Because he saw his gas bill"

"How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring."

"Frozen Joke Don't let it go here let it go else where you flithy badger!"

"I've been dumped by my girlfriend... She found me creepy as I always had to have a name for my penis, oh well, guess I'll have to take Matters into my own hands now."

"What's the right age to tell an adopted child it's a highway?"

"I thought I was schizophrenic... But I talked myself out of it."

"Find out if the NSA is listening to your call by singing SWEET CAROLINE and if more than one voice responds with bum bum bum THEN YOU KNOW"