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Joke of the Day
"my ideal date: shoplifting sushi from Walgreens then holding hands for 3 hours"
Next Joke
"What is the worst thing to hear after blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""
"A boy came into the house with a sofa on his back. His father said, ""How many times have I told you not to accept suites from strangers!?"""
"Wears a black shirt to a first dates house to see if shes lying about having cats"
"[drunk w/ 2 kittens at a bar] give me another ""haven't u had enough?"" i'll tell u when i've had enough! *bartender hands me another kitten*"
"[on a date with a caribou as a favor to my sister] me: so...did you like the movie? caribou: *knocks over candy display & tramples 3 kids*"
"Why'd the blonde snort a line of Splenda? She thought it was diet coke"
"My friend was telling animal puns I thought they were boaring."
"Lost my girlfriend due to religion I'm pretty much numb to beheadings at this point."
"What do Santa's little helpers learn in school? The Elfabet!"