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Joke of the Day

"Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway."

"Am I a bad person of I am skeptical of a guy with a ""Need Help - God Bless"" sign on an iPad 2?"

"I was in work the other day when a stunning Thai girl walked in. She was gorgeous. all I could think was 'don't get a boner, don't get a boner, don't get a boner.' She *did*."

"New information has come into my possession that reveals a significant percentage of you are full of shit."

"What do you call a black woman whose had an abortion? A crimefighter"

"INTERVIEWER: says here you were fired previously? ME: yeah, I tried putting pizza in the copier INTERVIEWER: [excitedly] did... did it work?"

"It's hard to have a Polaroid camera and not seem ""kidnappy""."

"What's Mr. Ts chain made out of? Fools gold"

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire :)"

"Warning: Dead baby joke What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock. You can't fuck a rock."