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Joke of the Day

"OMG IT'S GOING TO KILL US ALL!! ~ My dog every time I use a broom"

"When someone asks me where I see myself in 5 years... I dunno...I don't have 2020 vision."

"Currently I'm dating a anorexic chick. but lately I've been seeing less and less of her."

"I'm not saying he ate the candy canes off the bottom of the Christmas tree I'm just saying my dog's breath was minty fresh this morning."

"Up-Dog Something smells like updog."

"I have a higher IQ than Batman and Donald Trump combined. By the way, Batman has a higher IQ than me."

"What did the little ghost give his mom for Mother's Day? A booquet of flowers."

"What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? I have no idea but I wouldn't try milking it."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny."

"Vacuum the cat, its easier than vacuuming his hair from the whole house"