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Joke of the Day

"The silver-tongued lover can always make a woman blush... ... because they're a practiced, cunning linguist."

"My mind is like a steel trap. Rusty and illegal in 37 states."

"What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand"

"How much does a corpse weigh? A skele-ton"

"asians are amazing at reddit think about it, it's basically just dance dance revolution but with only two buttons"

"What did Samuel L. Jackson say to wake up his mate? Sunrise motherfucker!"

"in other news: 8 hours from now, half the country will be screaming about tragedy and loss b/c some dudes didnt catch a ball enough times"

"What is a gay guy's favorite kind of yogurt? The kind with the fruit on the bottom."

"Did you hear about the new morning-after pill for men? It changes your blood type"

"My fortune cookie says ""You will attain the highest levels of intelligence."" Does anyone know where I can find fedoras for cheap?"