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Joke of the Day
"Lettuce, tomato, onion, green peppers... Wrong sub."
Next Joke
"Why did the cows keep returning to the field of marijuana? It was the pot calling the cattle back."
"Asked my friend when the finals would end. ""Finals never finalize."""
"What do you call a Jewish baby in the womb? A bun in the oven."
"""i never metadata i didn't like"" -NSA"
"[my hot coworker Brenda & I at gates of Hell] BRENDA: we finally closed the gate, what should we seal it with? ME: a kiss? B: don't do that"
"I just ate my yogurt with a fork, because I've learned that if it looks like you have your shit together, people ask you to do stuff."
"Why are manhole covers circular? Because Rouleaux triangles are too hard to manufacture. What do you call 8 hobbits? A hobbyte."
"If batman and catwoman had a kid it would be batcat or the less popular manwoman."
"Skyped my dad today and had a great conversation with his forehead and nose hairs..."