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Joke of the Day

"Eating spinach is much like anal sex You won't enjoy it as much as an adult if you are forced to do it as a child."

"Why did the nazi refuse to drink lemonade? He hated acidic juice."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar... and the bartender gets excited. The bartender says, ""Hey, we've got a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper replies, ""You've got a drink named Greg?"""

"Sick at home with a temperature. Girlfriend says why are you so hot, ""I don't know I was born that way""."

"How do you keep a retard in anticipation?"

"The blind girl I was getting a handjob from told me I had the biggest dick she'd ever put her hands on. I said, ""Nah, you're just pulling my leg""."

"What does a Jew with an erection get when he walks into a wall? A broken nose."

"What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy? A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one."

"Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? They got six months each."

"I'm like a midget with premature ejaculation I have a lot of shortcomings"