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Joke of the Day

"My mother died suddenly from natural causes. I strangled her with kelp."

Next Joke
 
"ME (watching a sea of a million llamas stampede over the horizon): dear God, it's the alpacalypse"
"What's attractive in a prostitute ? The Price. Own creation if anyone asks."
"What's better than watching a woman wrestle? Seeing her box."
"Why can't lions ever conquer the world? Because the pride comes before the fall."
"Friends are a lot like trees... They fall down when they are hit with an axe multiple times."
"Hangs a sign on front door that says ""Robbery in progress - Please do not disturb"" to deter burglars"
"If I had the power to time travel, I would mostly just use it to stop past me from eating stuff from the fridge that I'd like to eat now."
"Some days I'm more on than off, but most days I'm just a moron."
"What did the man say when he saw a dancing soup container? That can can can-can!"