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Joke of the Day

"Last 4th I remember watching the fireworks on the TV In hindsight, that probably wasn't the best place to light them"

"What do you call a leper in a jacuzzi? Stew. Bonus: what do you do if an epileptic jumps into a jacuzzi? You throw in your laundry."

"In Europe, her milkshake brings all the boys to the meter."

"Okay, you got me, I'm not really a gynecologist. What gave it away? Was it the tongue thing?"

"What is WRONG with you??? Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything"

"My mate Jim says I might be schizophrenic... which is weird because I don't have a mate called Jim."

"Why the U.S suck at chess? 'Cuz they lost two towers"

"How many elves does a german santa have? Elf."

"Dear @Ford what about an f-150 you could drive standing up in the bed like the truck was a boat"

"""Let's see how many people we can trick into thinking we're quarters today!"" - nickels"