88024
Joke of the Day
"I keep a second pair of shoes at work, I don't want people to recognize me when I'm pooping."
Next Joke
"My cat just showed it's holiday spirit by pooping tinsel."
"What direction does a Walter White-themed GPS tell you to turn? Goddamn right."
"I'm writing a story about a Pirate who sells corn... It's about a buccaneer."
"""...said no one ever,"" said everyone ever."
"I speak Swedish with an Ikea accent."
"Work is for people who don't know how to fish."
"I guess you can say Eagles of Death Metal's fanbase is really blowing up.."
"What did the green grape said to the purple grape? BREATHE, GOD DAMMIT!! BREATHE!!!"
"""30 shots of espresso NOW."" *barista's eyes widen* Whoa what do you do for a living? ""I STAY AWAKE FOR A LIVING!"" *roundhouse kicks barista*"