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Joke of the Day

"What do you call Rowan Atkinson watching Monty Python? A jellybean."

"I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger. And then it hit me."

"How do you titillate an Ocelot? Ocillate it's tit a lot"

"A woman on death row is asked what she would like for her last meal. I dunno, what do you want?"

"Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse? She didn't."

"To get to the other side Why did the time traveler cross the road?"

"What do T-Rex's do for a living? They're small arms dealers."

"Going from Obama to Trump is like going to a nice restaurant but it's full so u leave and have to eat an old ketchup packet from ur car"

"DATING TIP: Be a gentleman. Hold her door. Hold her hand. Hold her purse. Hold her for ransom. Demand a chopper. Fly away. Start a new life."

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."