158857

Joke of the Day

"DATING TIP: Be a gentleman. Hold her door. Hold her hand. Hold her purse. Hold her for ransom. Demand a chopper. Fly away. Start a new life."

"What did the Nazi doctor tell his fully dilated patient.? Just one more putsch."

"Sad Dick A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."

"Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?"

"Why did the bareback performer ride his horse? Because it got too heavy to carry."

"Before the Internet, I guess I just assumed all my friends knew how to spell ""definitely."""

"Funny that Lebron couldn't even finish a game due to cramps when RoboCop saved all of Detroit without even having his own legs"

"A committee is twelve men doing the work of one."

"How is ""Shark spotted swimming off the coast"" news worthy? Now if a shark was seen walking off the coast that's different."

"Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it."