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Joke of the Day

"A man went to a zoo... When he got home, his wife asked him how it was. He replied ""There was only one dog in the entire zoo!! It was a shitzu."""

"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. ""Yes"" is the answer."

"I don't think Princess Elsa would be a very good girlfriend, She seems frigid."

"Instead of throwing the first pitch, it'd be fun if Presidents had to quarterback the first play of a football game."

"I'm not saying Ellen Pao is Hitler but.. I haven't seen the two of them in the same room.."

"2016 got me like I had no expectations, still didn't meet my expectations."

"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Fruit salad"

"""2015 AND PETSMART STILL DOESN'T HAVE FITTING ROOMS,"" I say somewhat loudly as Fluffy has to try on sweaters right there in the aisle."

"What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? Ba-Na-Na-Na"

"My wife used to make meals that would make Martha Stewart jealous. Then she joined Twitter... Now I'm lucky if she buys cereal."