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Joke of the Day

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you."

"How many good presidential candidates does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Its gonna be a dark four years, now isn't it?"

"According to my neighbor's journal, I have ""boundary isues."""

"If you enjoyed the film Mean Girls... You'd love Standard Deviation Girls!"

"If you ever get cold... Just stand in a corner. They're usually around 90 degrees!"

"I saw a guy at an ATM with no arms, and a peg leg He asked if I would help him check his balance... so I pushed him over"

"SPELLING BEE: spell ""configurable"" ME: C-O-N-F-I-G-U-R-A-B-- SPELLING BEE: (interupting) yes i am a bee but i fail to see why thats relevant"

"Accidentally put Red Bull in my coffee maker this morning. I was going 130 mph down the interstate when I realized that I forgot my car."

"Bill Cosby's new t.v. show premier's next month, ""Rape Victims Say the Darndest Things!"""

"A man had his left arm and leg removed. He's all right now."