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Joke of the Day

"No officer I didn't mean to run him over. Yes I saw him but I thought he was my ex, and clearly he is not my ex."

"Why'd the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff? Tequila"

"Server: Want one of our famous milkshakes? Me: Well, I saw your yard and it was empty. Server: Huh? Me: No boys. Server: Huh? Me: No thanks."

"What do you call a calm Asian? A Mellow Yellow"

"How does a Trigonometry teacher appreciate his girlfriend? ""Oh baby, you are so (1/cos C)"" !!!"

"In honor of To Set A Watchmen coming out soon, what would Harper Lee's book be called if she was Mexican? Tequila Mockingbird."

"You know what they say about small feet... Big truck"

"WIFE: what's the name of that girl you work with? ME: which girl? WIFE: the pretty one ME: I feel like this is a trap"

"Sometimes I miss my real friends and then I think, screw them, they don't even star my tweets."

"What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep? Microphones!"