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Joke of the Day

"What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything."

"It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner. ""What are my choices?"" he asked. ""Yes or No"" she replied."

"How does Sean Connery find his way to the toilet? With a shat nav."

"I don't hate anyone. I just don't like people."

"Brother: Which is farther away- NY City or the moon? Sister: NY City. Why do ask? Brother: Well I can see the moon but I can't see NY City."

"Last year I felt depressed and miserable, but this year I've managed to turn it around. Now I feel miserable and depressed."

"apparently pharmacies think theyre grocery shops now. selling food product instead of focusing on exceptional pill service. Get real, punk !"

"Don't you get it man? Every single person who has discovered the identity of who let the dogs out has been brutally murdered."

"Why was the first computer never invited to dinner? It would just take a few bytes then run."

"I was told my $750 iPhone would improve the quality of my phone calls, but my family keeps calling telling me the same shit."