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Joke of the Day

"In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That'll teach 'em to fuck with you."

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Ones a Goodyear; the others a fucking amazing year."

"Half my family is Catholic, the other half Jewish, so when the tweet contest theme is ""guilt"" I pretty much have it in the bag."

"What's beneath most Canadians? Most Americans"

"My girlfriend fell and got a bruise on her ass. It was nasty. and the bruise was ugly too."

"Why don't blind people bungee jump? Cuz' it scares the fuck out of the dogs!"

"I just got awake from sleep, after 61 days April Fools :D got it ; 61 days ..earlier ..from today right, no ? alright move on :|"

"What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito? ME-coli"

"What is a gay horse's favorite meal? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaay"

"Wanna hear a joke about a stupid person? well, too bad. I can't talk to you over the internet. Stupid."