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Joke of the Day

"Becky on Facebook is having a bad hair day and wonders if anything will ever go right. Be strong Becky, be strong. Also shut up."

"What do you call the Spanish Government? Juan Republic"

"What do you call Nicki Minaj's buttcrack? Silicone Valley"

"What are the names of the first two men to get married under the new Irish gay marriage law? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick"

"There's a new restaurant opening called Kentucky Freud Chicken... ...It's motherfucking good."

"What did Matthew McConaughey say about Steve Bannon's followers? They're alt-right, alt-right, alt-right."

"Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?? A: Because they can understand them."

"4 different views of a tunnel PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks."

"I wanna Die peaceful in my sleep just my like my Grandpah! Unlike the passengers in his car..."

"My friend and I are in a beard growing contest Right now it's neck and neck."