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Joke of the Day

"Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same movie roles. You know what they say about old habits....."

"As a gift to my girlfriend, Tola, I tattooed her name on myself in the mirror. I think that says alot."

"What do you call it if you put an IED on an Italian? Rigatoni!"

"Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The one who can bring his friends two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts."

"I wouldn't say that Christmas gnomes are cross-eyed but when they cry the tears run down their back!"

"One thing won't change for Jared Fogle while in prison He will still be eating 6"" to 12"" daily."

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And rape. Also, the dark. And being buried alive. Mondays. Most people, too. (and insects)"

"Why do beaches not get sarcasm? Because they always take things littorally"

"Pranking the police A couple of pranksters broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory equipment. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, ""We have absolutely nothing to go on."""

"Why are you on /r/Jokes? What arrr ya buncha pirates or sumthin? *tssssssss*"