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Joke of the Day

"Monday, after class, I get back to my dorm ready to start all my homework due this week."

"I'm certainly no authority, but if you want to avoid the muffin top you probably shouldn't put size 8 jeans on a size 12 girl."

"Hey baby, I'm a power source, and you're the kind of resistor i'd like to deliver my load to."

"What do Jews call a lone rabbit? A rabbi."

"I'm starting to think people are having babies solely for the Facebook likes."

"What's the best way to find out if you have ticklish balls? Test Tickles"

"yo mamma is so stupid that when tomsterley walked out of his house wearing gay clothing she thought he was a yeti"

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands!"

"I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went... ...then it dawned on me."

"M: HEY, DID YOU REMEMBER CONDOMS? H: FFS, use your inside voice M: *whispers* did you remember condoms? H: can this wait til after mass?"