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Joke of the Day

"People, today, I met and chatted up a super-hot stripper at Walmart. Sorry, there's no punch line - I'm still too shocked to write one."

"Test results are in, you might want to have a seat ""I'd rather stand"" Are you sure? You have ""Falls Down When Gets Bad News"" disease *Thud*"

"I don't know where I stand on abortion. I like killing babies, but I don't like giving women a choice."

"Wanna hear a joke about a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless."

"Sir you don't need to be tailgating me I'm already going 55mph in a 35mph zone And the lights on top of your car look ridiculous"

"Q: What insect lives on nothing? A: Moths, because they eat holes."

"I think I want a job cleaning mirrors It's just something I can see myself doing."

"$10 says some idiot is gonna hear the word Ebola and think ""that'd be a great name for my new baby!"""

"Today holds a lot of meaning to me. Today is the 2 year anniversary that I lost my wife and children I'll never forget that game of cards."

"Why can't a Chinese couple get a white baby? Because two wongs don't make a white"