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Joke of the Day

"I tried to get into the knife sharpening academy I didn't make the cut."

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"How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Let the bitch cook in the dark!!!"
"Two fish are in a tank One says to the other: You man the guns, I'll drive."
"If anything I post offends you, please, please bring it to my attention so I can delete you off my friends list."
"What do you call a waterfall which causes erections? Viagra Falls"
"I can't stop coughing. Think I'll go see a movie in a crowded theater while slowly eating a bag of bone-dry popcorn."
"What did the Dead Head say, after he ran out of weed? ""Damn, this music sucks!"""
"Found this great joke in the latest serious Askreddit thread, thought you guys might like it [removed]"
"Turkey bacon is a lot like normal bacon except that IT'S NOT AND IT NEEDS TO GO BACK TO HELL, WHERE IT CAME FROM."
"Believe what a plumber says They've seen some shit."