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Joke of the Day

"My mom wants 3-D eye surgery to see 3-D movies without glasses. I told her they don't exist. She doesn't care. Operation's next Tuesday."

"What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues. Credit: Curious: The Tourist's Guide"

"Usain Bolt's net worth is $60 million. How did he get so rich? By saving the gas money!"

"What do you call someone who only watches Horror Anime? A Ouijaboo."

"Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you."

"I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around."

"Why are Nazis so good at math? They always come up with the final solution."

"I could have sworn I heard a chorus of a thousand tiny voices rising up from the shower drain to wish me a Happy Fathers Day."

"Funny thing about National Cleavage Day is that girls with big boobs celebrate it everyday. Hallelujah."

"Why does Bill Clinton prefer B.J.s? Because he hates Costco."