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Joke of the Day

"Small one A midget fortune teller escapes with some money and is not found by the police. Headline in the next day's newspaper: Small medium at large."

"What kind of bars do lesbian Eskimos go to? Klondike Bars"

"How did Dairy Queen wind up pregnant? Burger King didn't wrap his Whopper"

"If you could only eat one thing from the McDonald's menu for the rest of your life... How would you off yourself?"

"I'll have a 12 year old scotch. Hold the scotch."

"Did it ever occur to you that people with tear drop tattoos are just really sad?"

"How does Donald Drumpf change a lightbulb? He doesn't. He hires people with long fingers to do it for him."

"I'll have you know, I've been sober for just over 100 days. Not like, in a row or anything...just in general."

"What did Saddam Hussein have in common with Little Miss Muffet? He also had Kurds in his way."

"What can a Chicken do that you cannot? Eat with his pecker."