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Joke of the Day

"I flip off the rollercoaster camera, then buy a mug with the picture on it, ride it again, flip off the camera again while sipping my mug"

"Did you hear about the organic chemical terrorist group? They call themselves Al-Dehydes."

"Hillary Clinton is elected President. JK."

"What's the difference between a musician and a large pizza? The pizza can feed a family of 4."

"What do you get if you cross a gardener with a banker? A box hedge fund!"

"What do you call an ant in space ? Cosmonants & Astronants !"

"How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything? Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one? Me : Today's."

"We wanted to bury our cat Ivy under our ivy but it was too thick to get through so we renamed it dumpster instead."

"Funny joke I heard during christmas Two nuns are sitting in a tub and one says to the other ""where's the soap"" and the other nun replies ""yes it does""."

"Can't get a girl? Rip out your rib and make your own! Critics are raving ""this doesn't work"" and ""I'm bleeding to death""."