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Joke of the Day

"Last night instead of feeding my rabbit , I went out clubbing got really pissed and took drugs......I really let my hare down"

"How can Euchre and Marriage be similar? Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade."

"Why do Jews always seem to find spare change laying around? They cents it."

"Me: There has to be a way I can lose weight! Friend: Eat healthy? Exercise? Me: No, that's not it. Keep thinking! We'll figure this out."

"A group of actors performed an on stage reading of the Oxford dictionary. The audience wasn't too enthralled with a play on words."

"When driving: *shakes fist at pedestrians* When walking: *shakes fist at motorists* When running: *shakes fist at the murderer chasing me*"

"What was the problem with the midget prostitute? She was always selling herself short."

"Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house."

"What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller."

"me: well I grew up without a dad and I turned out okay cw: don't u collect human teeth?? me: yeah but they're not my teeth"