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Joke of the Day

"What's a pirate's favorite subreddit? /r/matey"

"I went on a geology diet recently I lost a stone"

"What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Just trying to fit in."

"Getting your shit together just sounds unsanitary"

"Gramps' head was chopped off by a helicopter blade and same with his dad and his dad before him. So no Rod, you can't go to helicopter camp."

"When is the best time to schedule a Dentist Appointment? 2:30 (Tooth Hurty)"

"My husband brought home one happy meal for two kids. Frankly things would have been less dramatic if he'd brought home a girlfriend."

"do I wanna smoke? sure I'll smoke. I'll smoke u fools on the court when ur lung capacity is severely compromised. stay in school, be active"

"How are children like cellphones? If you've lost one and haven't found it in a couple days, chances are it's probably dead."

"My girlfriend had sex with her ex, instead of breaking up with her I did the same thing. For the record he said I'm a much better kisser."