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Joke of the Day

"One ant was running across an unopened box of crackers and urging another to speed up. ""But why do we have to hurry?"" said one. ""Can you read you nut! It says Tear along the dotted line'""."

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"What's the difference between JFK and Bill Clinton? One got his head blown off, the other was assassinated"
"What is Justin Timberlake's favourite Ukrainian river? The Crimea River."
"[Dr.] ""Your blood is 40% cheese, if you eat ANY more you'll die"" *slowly raises piece of cheese to mouth* ""Don't do it"" *eats cheese* *dies*"
"A photon is going through airport security... The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, ""No, I'm traveling light."""
"How do you start a raid in Ethiopia? Staple food to the ceiling!"
"You can make jokes about anything; just not Mexicans. That's crossing the border."
"Do you know how to tell when Trump is lying? His lips are moving."
"What did the redditor do to a post? He rEDDITed it. I'll leave."
"Do you know why I pulled you over? ""Yes, because I was driving a motorized toilet."" I meant this time ""Oh. No."" Please step out of the oven."