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Joke of the Day

"Grocery stores nowadays have amazing selection We have powdered milk, powdered orange juice, powdered eggs, baby powder..."

"""What an ugly baby,"" I said, much more audibly than intended."

"Who ever said time cannot be bought? I bought some thyme yesterday."

"I was having sex with my girlfriend when I felt a weird tap on my shoulder... I hate having sex in the bath."

"So a Croatian walks into a bar, and the bartender says, ""We don't serb your kind!"""

"What the hell Hollywood? I've never had to rub blood between my fingers to know that it's blood."

"How many kids with ADSD does it take to change a lightbulb? ""Lets go ride our bikes!"""

"You don't need to threaten me into submission. Just hold some cheesecake under my nose."

"I'm probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club."

"Jesus: Unless you become like children you will not enter heaven *Gets hit by a water ballon* Jesus: That's not what I meant, Paul"