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Joke of the Day

"Michelle Obama telling America to drink more water is the best plan I've heard for making racists dehydrate to death."

"""What the fuck is a newspaper?"" - our grandchildren"

"i once heard that in the old days, you received a last name based on your profession. if so, what the hell was John Hancock's career?"

"What did the man get when he shop lifted a calander? 12 months"

"An elderly woman went to her local doctor's office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied..."

"Two newfies are walking down a path... They see a sheep tangled up in a fence. The one says ""man, I wish that was a pretty lady"" to which his friend replys ""i just wish it was dark"""

"Her: Do you watch Desperate Housewives? Me: No but I follow a few on Twitter."

"My gf told me to stop pretending i'm amy winehouse I said no, no, no"

"I was going to share my joke about cocaine with you But it's only a one liner"

"Whats does dissecting a frog and explaining a joke have in common? Sure, you know how it works, but now it's dead."