1590

Joke of the Day

"i once heard that in the old days, you received a last name based on your profession. if so, what the hell was John Hancock's career?"

"FBI responds to increased number of botched investigations resulting in civilian casualties By adding a new definition for ""botched"" to urban dictionary; successful"

"How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie into it"

"Did you hear the Miami Heat's new theme song? It's absolute fire"

"Why is marriage is like an alarm clock? After the ring, you wake up!"

"I submitted several play on words to a competition, hoping one will bring me victory.... Unfortunately, no pun in ten did"

"I was gonna make a gay joke... But Fuck that"

"A grandpa tells his grandson ""Your generation depends too much on technology."" The grandson unplugs his grandpa's life support."

"Why JFK doesn't wear hats? It is an airport."

"(business meeting) *drops pen on the floor* *bends over to pick it up* *shirt comes untucked* *all the jelly beans start falling out*"