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Joke of the Day

"How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's a hardware problem."

"Picture someone robbing you. Congratulations, you're a fucking racist."

"I once found this body down by the train tracks (It was an alive body) (It was the conductor)"

"WIFE: [walks in on me trying on Victoria's Secret] OMG ME: It's not what you think! [shows receipt] They were on sale WIFE: Oh thank God"

"Me: What do gay horses eat? Mom: Oh! I've heard this one, it's Haaaaaaay!"" Me: Wrong. Penises."

"I've heard like seven cancer jokes today... If I hear tumor it's gonna benign."

"Brunos are from mars, freddies are from mercury"

"I'm a hard core Trekkie except instead of Star Trek, alcohol."

"What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth ? An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe !"

"Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet."