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Joke of the Day
"Why did the tree look pissed off all the time? It had Resting Birch Face."
Next Joke
"After 3 months of Crest White Strips, my teeth are so white they bought me a gift card to Anthropologie & wont stop talking about Mad Men."
"I need a new job. One where I'm always running out the door with my arms flailing and holding a jar screaming ""I GOTTA GET THIS TO THE LAB!"""
"""Hey, did you hear about the blonde that lost over 85% of her intelligence?"" ""No, actually. How'd it happen?"" ""I dunno, but I hear that it happened at around the same time her husband died."""
"Knock Knock Who's there ? Colin ! Colin who ? Colin all cars Colin all cars !"
"Me: What's w/the ice pack? 12: I have a headache. Me: Do you think it's a good idea to play video games if you have a headache? 12: Yes."
"Should America make China the 51st state so we can get better access to Chinese food? I'm so sick and tired of Panda Express."
"Why did the chicken cross the road? BECAUSE 7 8 9 HAAHAHA Wait..."
"Two peanuts were walking down the street One was a salted."
"Justin Bieber Comedy Roast - 10 Meanest Jokes"