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Joke of the Day

"Next big terrorist attack I was going to tell a joke about the next horrific terrorist attack, but it's too soon."

"The cleaning people unplugged my radio and lost my settings, so I'm shooting fingernail clippings all over my office floor to punish them."

"How was copper wire invented ? One copper coin, two dwarves."

"Why couldn't Moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter? Because the shelter was non prophet."

"Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge"

"A true Irish bean soup is made with exactly 239 beans... ..if you were to add one more bean, it would be too farty."

"Looked up the oldest trick in the book... It just showed me who the first man to patronize a prostitute was."

"How do elves spell? With an elfabet."

"How do you measure a Villanova graduate's I.Q.? With a tire gauge."

"What's the problem with an invisible penis? You never see it coming."