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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the guy who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now"
Next Joke
"What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?"
"In Massachusetts you can't buy liquor before noon on Sundays. But bless your raging alcoholic heart for trying."
"the most challenging thing I've done all week is explain to a 4 year old where he was in photos taken 7 years ago"
"I always suspected that Matthew McConaughey was a rebel. That suspicion was confirmed when I saw what he wore every single day after Labor Day. All white, all white, all white."
"Sometimes I just like to sit on the couch and do nothing for 3 years."
"BOSS: There's limited parking at the event so we are going to carpool ME (pulling a pair of floaties out of my desk drawer): oh hell yeah"
"Me and my new girlfriend are both scientists, archaeologists to be exact... .. we're carbon, dating."
"Kind of a kid joke What kind of cereal do zombies like? Kellog's All Brain"
"I just read a book about a girl who escapes from her parent's dispiriting home. It's a runaway best seller."