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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst thing a woman can hear after giving Willie Nelson a blow job? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""

"When I told my boyfriend love has to come from both ways... ...he suggested a threesome"

"A man walks into a bar... A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: ""A beer please, and one for the road."""

"Was Billy Idol? No, he was moving at the time."

"I need some help with my Halloween costume. I'm dressing up as Ebola and I want to make sure everyone gets it."

"When your boss asks you ""do I look stupid to you?"" it's a rhetorical question I know this now"

"What do you call a chubby girl who's cranky, has bad breath and doesn't screw? You don't call her."

"There's no easy way to steal a watermelon."

"What do you call a parrot that flew away? A polygon!"

"Boss: OMFG man what happened to ur eye? [cut to me riding a horse into the garage door during medieval role play] ""I ran into a door"""