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Joke of the Day

"I got arrested for breaking into the Chinese restaurant. Don't worry, my attorney said that I'll probably wok."

"My friends bakery burnt down... It was toast =D lmao"

"Didn't will.i.am once say he was going to make a car? well.he.isn't"

"My orgasm face looks like I'm opening a jar of pickles."

"Oh, non-habit forming? No thanks."

"An undertaker and a snake If an undertaker and a snake got married, what would there towels say? Hissss and Hearse"

"My wife walked in on me last night and shouted, ""What the hell are you doing with that ivory and gold dress?"" I said, ""It's not what it looks like!"""

"My husband has been missing for a week, the police say to prepare for the worst... So I went to the thrift store & got all his clothes back!"

"Arguing with an engineer is like mud wrestling a pig... You'll never win and eventually you'll figure out that the pig likes it."

"""War Horse"" and ""The Help"" are the SAME movie! I watched them on my laptop and they BOTH have a 90 minute scene where I just check Facebook."