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Joke of the Day

"Read about that farmer who lost a whole load of crops when crossing the river. Turns out his boat was full of leeks."

"Me: Weaknesses? Oh, I'd say not relating well to other sentient beings. -I meant about the janitor job. Me: Oh ya, I don't know how to sweep"

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? I don't mind a 5k, but my running group wants to a 10k. I don't like them."

"I ate too many rowing paddles Now I feel oar-full"

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Ones a Goodyear; the others a fucking amazing year."

"If you smell Axe body spray on your lawyer you're going to jail."

"How many Google plus users does it take to change a lightbulb ? All of them actually . Two to hold the ladder and one to change the lightbulb ."

"Instagram: ""Look at my sushi!"" Vine: ""Look at my sushi for six seconds!"""

"Did you know King Solomon made love to 1000 virgins but he never enjoyed great sex :-P"

"My wife was struggling to open the freezer In the end she gave up, and froze to death."